A Peaceful Saturday Morning

Ahhhhhhhh!

Penny kindly let me sleep in till 7:30 this morning, and we have had a lovely morning hanging out together, and getting some easy quick jobs done (Ocado online shop, cooking some Fimo beads I made last night).

Charlie is at his board game conference in Essen, and I am reminded how manageable life is, even if he is not here and I am pregnant (i.e. tired and sometimes a bit grumpy).  I miss him, but all is very well.  And he is clearly having the time of his life ("Games! Games! Games!")

My diary is pretty free, and there are some bits and pieces I would like to do, but nothing terribly urgent.  Erika, Ruth and Wela are coming round tonight, and I am completely looking forward to it as the cooking is already mostly done, so I can have a fun chatty evening with them and P.

And Penny is being a complete sweetie.  She is at an age where she can do so much, she loves to entertain herself but is also delightful to play with or read to.  And stroppy tantrums are still very rare.

So, a quick read of 'Winnie the Pooh and Tigger Too', a cosy shower, and then P and I will be off for a walk around Brockwell Park ... perfect!  Hooray!

The Little Boy that Never Was

Don't get me wrong, I know that except for death and taxes, very little in life is truly final.

We had a very good 20 week +6 days scan today, where the baby was shown to be healthy and growing well, and will also be a little girl.  And, as Charlie and I are only planning on 2 children, this seems to be a clear indication that we will not experience being parents to a baby boy.

Which is fine in many ways.  Sisters may well fall out, but hopefully will be very close as the years go by.  And there are various other generalisations I could make, but it does feel very final.  As we approach the end of our childbearing chapter, it is an emotional day in many different ways.

Even having another baby at all seems a bit like cheating on Penny.  But if we were to have expected a boy, we had a name chosen.  And the thought of bringing up a mini-Charlie when he is just so wonderful was too good to be true.  And of course I am already bringing up a mini-Charlie.  Penny is so much like him, even though it is the easy option to say how much she is like me just because she is a girl.  But she both looks like him and behaves like him.

And I know we won't be bringing up girls any differently than how we would if they were boys.  They will still climb trees and learn how to play chess and go.

So now I just want to meet the little fidget who is wriggling around in my tummy, because I know she will be wonderful in so many new and surprising ways.  

Catching Up

So, returning back from America went ok, though getting over 8 hours of jet lag with a baby is hard ... even when you can sleep, odds are they can't!  And there were plenty of autumnal germs waiting for us, so there have been coughs and colds all round.

Feeling very seasonally chilled out though, enjoying the cooler air but not the rain.

As I am over 20 weeks pregnant now, the baby has been wiggling more and even kicking.  It really helps me to bond with the baby.  I mean, you know you are pregnant earlier on from the sickness, the scan and the line on the stick, but it feels abstract to have a baby in your tummy.  It is only when it starts moving that I can really connect.  And looking forward to seeing the baby again at the scan next Tuesday, though the anticipation of knowing what gender the baby will be is too much!

Having a relaxing weekend, seeing Kirsten, Matty and Anna, and as the others are going for the annual autumn walk tomorrow, and if it is not raining Penny may go to, and I may well get a day to myself ... what will I do?!